I’ve started and trashed this post several times. I was only writing it while being in a very bad, no good, terrible horrible mood. But sometimes, infact most of the time there are so many positives to moving back in with your parents.
You may remember that we moved back home to my parents 6 months ago to save money.
We weren’t really getting anywhere while we were renting a 2 bedroom apartment. Sure we had the lifestyle, privacy and all that space but we started thinking long-term. Long-term like buying our own house.
The Sydney house market is insane and out of reach to many. The only way we could do this was to either borrow a lot of money or to save. Our biggest expense? Rent and household bills.
We asked my parents if we could move in and they were more than happy to have us. We set some ground rules i.e we would do the vacuuming, who-ever is free makes dinner, etc. Pretty relaxed and a lot of common sense.
We quickly fell into a routine. We saw mum and dad mostly for dinner while we all worked during the day and during the weekends we all did our own thing.
It still hasn’t been easy. It has been draining and I crave my personal space more than ever.
Some tips to get you through moving back in with your parents:
If you manage to negotiate rent with your parents – great. Pay them in full on the agreed date that you would pay a landlord.
If they don’t want rent perhaps you can contribute in other way i.e bringing home groceries when something has run out, vacuuming, cooking dinner a few times a week.
Respect their rules. You’re back in their house, their rules still apply.
Some unspoken rules at my parents place are clean up after yourself and no swearing.
My parents are also very old-school Indian in the sense that they get very uncomfortable when there is kissing or sex scenes on TV. I had forgotten about that one, so I tend to watch most movies in the privacy of my room. Plus they probably don’t want us hogging their TV all their time.
Also respect their space – don’t bring all your crap into their house. Get a storage unit if you must or sell all your furniture before moving back in.You don’t want to crowd their house even more and “take over”. Leave things that are already available at their house like towels, linen, kitchen utensils so you avoid doubling up.
Their house, their way
My parents are a lot more social than me, so they love having guests over and entertaining. And that’s totally fine. Their house, their rules. It can be tiring if you are an introvert like me. It doesn’t mean you HAVE to socialise with all their family and friends, but it doesn’t hurt to be civil, polite and then go and do your own thing.
Know the end date
Make sure you know exactly how long you will be living with you parents. You want to have an end date in sight before the dinner conversations become really stale.
If you think this is tough on you, think of your partner if they have moved into your childhood home as well. They won’t know your parents rules, their habits, their cleaning standards etc. Be kind.
I’m really lucky that my husband gets along with my parents and is happy to spend time with them.
You can ease the pressure on them by taking breaks and short trips away.
Let others know that you are happy to house-sit if they go on a holiday. It’s lovely to get-away. Almost like a free holiday.
We booked weekends away here and there which help is something to look forward to. And it feels truly amazing to have a place to yourself. Even if just for a weekend.
It’s not all about you though. I’m sure the parents enjoy having their own place to themselves again as well.
Breaks benefit everyone all around!
If you spend too much time with anyone in confined quarters it’s bound to get to you sooner or later. So do things to get out of the house like going out for walks and midweek dates and catch-ups.
Time is precious
Our parents won’t be around forever.
Since I’m older and a lot more mature than when I was living at home, I actually enjoy spending time with them and talking to them over the dinner table. We share our views on things currently in the news. They honestly surprise me sometimes with how modern their views are. I have learnt so much from my parents in the past 6 months. Much more than when I was a moody teenage always locked away in my room.
I moved out when I was 22 so never really learnt some of my mums best recipes (masala tea – yum!) and moving back in has given me an opportunity to expand my culinary skills. It’s also been great learning about their garden.
In turn we have been able to introduce Netflix into their lives and we help out with technology based things when they are struggling with it.
It also makes mum and dad happy to see us together and know that they have contributed to our future in such a big way.
When it all gets too hard, remind yourself exactly why you are doing this. You are saving for an end result which will ultimately be worth all the hard work.
Have you had to move in with mum and dad again? How have you coped? Do you have any more strategies or tips to add?
Featured image: Unsplash
photographer: Kari Shea